Saturday, 27 May 2017

Tired of being alone, to fight when you feel like flying

It was 5 in the morning and I watched him pack his bulky black bag for his next trip. I lay amongst his belongings in my yellow pyjama pants, hoping that he would pick me up next -- not to fold me up nicely to fit his customs but for him to stay and I dare say, fit mine.

A white cup of water, a tight embrace, a rough kiss on the cheek. I scampered away from the door and climbed up the couch. I perched my little being on the tip looking out through the windows. I never liked the grills that held me back. The gaps were too small. 

Everything was beneath me, well, I lived way too high. 

Sleeping neighbours, trees, black and white, a public bus. Where is he?

A tiny figure emerged, slightly unstable with heavy footsteps. His baggage was way too big. I slipped my arm through the grills, my face squashed against more grills. Sometimes I shouted.

I was only nine.

When I turned twenty I dreaded heading for that window. It was too tiresome. I dragged my grown feet up the sofa, slipped my hand out the grills when it was time and headed straight back. No screams, just a ritual, a sense of duty.

He stopped coming back and he took a piece of my belonging with him. 

Out the door she went, with a piece of what's mine too.

It's all too familiar -- the same flush of liquid burns, the same dam broke. 

That very same abandonment.

Saturday, 31 December 2016

Bring out the champagne, where's the fireworks

It's the last day of 2016 and I have never been happier now that it's coming to an end! 2016 has been a wonky roller coaster ride for me -- enrolling into university, people in and out of my life, coming to terms with the fact that Yogyakarta doesn't serve real rendang.

That phony rendang was just too much to take in.

And yes Ayman, I'm sorry for cheating on your mom's rendang (again) I now know that it just ain't worth it. I want my rupiahs back.

Anyway I'm going to wrap up 2016 in this post and pray (hard) that my plans for 2017 will run smoothly! No, they are not new years resolutions, I know myself well that shit ain't happening. What I'm talking about are concrete plans. I'm so excited and now I just have to get my ass back to Singapore...

I've been spending a lot this year to a point where I'm not burning just a hole in my wallet anymore -- my wallet has disintegrated. I don't need no wallet no more because I'm always broke. Maybe it's the hall expenses or maybe it's just damn uber and all their promo codes.

But I've been trying to save, starting with Christmas Wonderland with Jasper. I really really REALLY wanted to win an Olaf just like every other basic white bitch out there but nope we won (Jasper won) 2 stuffed bears instead for $20. I had to use every ounce of energy I have in my body to stop myself from buying more tokens because Jasper was more than happy to which didn't make things any easier!! But still pats on my back for stopping at 20 bucks. This is a good start... right?

SCHOOL. I'm also quite excited for school to start. I've been quite on point with getting ready for the new semester and one of them is planning out my timetable... in different shades of pink. If you have seen how uninspiring STARS planner look you'll understand why I took the trouble. Here's to better grades next semester!

The good and bad have all rained on 2016 but above all I'm just glad that all of it has made me learn and grow as a person. Relationships can be transient and unpredictable and no one should ever keep any negativity in their lives because of the past. But do you know what will stay for a life time? Your achievements. So here's a pro-tip in life: Keep working on you.

I'm also thankful for the friends and family I have in my life. Sometimes I think I am receiving more than I deserve and I'm just so blessed. Be it new friends or old, thank you for being in my life and for being such a great addition. I shall not be all sappy and ramble on anymore so here are the best moments in 2016!

Thanks mom for the very appropriate birthday present.

Chels dictates my birthday every single year....

I was raped. The frog is there to protect my modesty.

Thanks Chels for the stripey hockey socks that I will never need and J for the best surprise ever in the brown box(!!)

We caught WICKED the Musical that day!

Christmas Wonderland at GBTB...

Budget Christmas outside Popular in North Point....

WKW's Halloween event where I got to be my favourite Disney Princess!!

 Who can forget media law moments...

Ok this is me trying to smile through French class

By far the best thing in NTU. That's duck meat btw

Credits to CI Club for the ISG Photos!!

I guess this is it.

I'm going to prepare for new years eve dinner with my family tonight. I can't wait to use the new eye shadow palette from Sephora my aunt got me for Christmas!

Till next year... I mean tomorrow.

Happy new year!

Monday, 24 October 2016

I knew you were trouble when you walked in

It's days like these that I dread.

I've always thought that it was a blessing but it comes with a very heavy price to pay if you fall out of it. Still, the feeling of receiving and giving is far too tempting.

It is the very essence of being human.

Friday, 21 October 2016

And under the lights when everything goes

I can't barbecue.

It's one of the easiest way to have a get-together, and probably why we had a mass barbecue party to mark the end of welfare week in hall 14 yesterday. But the process of preparing for the barbecue, cooking and cleaning up is (almost) torturous.

Oh god I didn't know there was so much preparation just for a barbecue.

The committee ordered a ton of crab sticks and I did not know that each individual crab stick was wrapped with a layer of plastic. So there I was -- an exuberant teen leaning over at the barbecue pit making the most out of my youth peeling plastic wrappers off each crab stick. But I'm glad I was not in charge of starting the fire for the barbecue pit. Boy scout Sakthi had the honour of starting the fire. Hats off to him, I can never start a fire to save my life. Or more like for the sake of everyone's lives I shouldn't be the one starting the fire.

Also, I tried to be helpful and cook during the barbecue. A part of me wants to be helpful but another part of me is afraid that my contact lenses will melt in my eyes. So I sort of hid behind a friend while trying to barbecue because I thought it will ease my situation but no. Eventually I gave up and passed the tongs to a more skilled cook. And that's not saying a lot because I bet the hall cats are better at barbecuing than me.

Somebody started handing out marshmallows and I got a little excited. It's marshmallows, what could go wrong?

And I spoke too soon.

My marshmallows woes are very real. May I ask, where is the ideal position to roast the marshmallows?? I mean if you place them over the raw food you might accidentally contaminate a good piece of marshmallow AND I HATE WASTING A GLORIOUS BLOB OF MARSHMALLOW. But if I put the marshmallows below the pit I might 1. soil my marshmallow with the charcoal (yes I have unsteady hands stop rolling your eyes at me) 2. burn my fingers off because the fire BURNS. The first time I got a nice Nobel to roast it for me but I found a solution to my problem...

... I simply moved to a smaller fire... how anti-climatic.

Decided not to be ambitious and settle for a smaller fire. I mean as long as your marshmallow melts and all your fingers are still intact, standing over a small fire for over 10 minutes is fine right? Also, Kuangyi complimented my marshmallows (yet another skill for my resume). At first he was skeptical when he saw my marshmallows because even after 10 minutes over the fire, they look exactly the same as before. Just like me before and after French class. But his first bite revealed a gooey, melty marshmallow and at that very second, I had my masterchef moment.

I'm just glad barbecue night is over. Cleaning up was the easiest part and I have to admit that meeting most of the hall 14 folks was really fun. And also I must say that I am really proud for recycling all the plastic bottles and aluminium cans yesterday. Yes, you may call me a tree-hugger.

Also no, the barbecue wasn't that smokey, my phone's camera died. So the day before I spotted a lizard in my hall's room and as I was moving my things out of the way to catch that vermin, I dropped my phone and the glass protecting the camera lens of my S7 shattered into pieces. The glass did not just crack, it shattered when it hit the (smooth) floor. Glass bits are still falling off my new phone and I'm so depressed. NO, the asshole is not caught yet and I'm living in constant fear.

Monday, 17 October 2016

What he had in him you got in you

Sooooo I called the ambulance today.

WKW had a sports event today and we did captain's ball -- who knew captain's ball could be this disastrous?!

Anyway I was in the same team as WT and I was so excited for the game. But just as WT was defending, he jumped a little too high with his arm stretched out to hit the ball away and he fell. When he first collapsed on the ground while holding his arm I thought that he had strained a muscle and naturally, I moved away from him because people were starting to crowd around him.

Ok side track a little, I'm really not sure why people like to crowd around and stick their noses over someone injured. I mean give that poor guy some air to breathe, fetch him some water and most importantly be useful if not walk away???

So after walking away for about a minute, WT was still not getting up and I was getting tired of waiting. Turned back, looked at him and he looked upset. HUH why making such a fuss over muscle sprain? I thought he was throwing a tantrum because he fell and embarrassed himself. I was not impressed, WT. 

But when I walked back over and asked if he was alright, he told me that he pOPPED HIS SHOULDER??? I had a mini heart attack but I ran to call the ambulance anyway after asking if he needed to go to the hospital (I thought he was able to pop it back himself... ha..ha...).

Ambulance came in about 10 minutes I guess but it felt so long because he was in so much pain. I can't even imagine how painful it will be when the doctor pop his shoulder back SIGH WT CAN U TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. Also, I guess that the warm ups we did before the game were pretty useless because all we did were some sort of... marching??? Our joints and limbs weren't prepared at all for captain's ball albeit a recreational one. 

Now that I am thinking back about the whole fiaso, a frisbee almost flew into WT's face before captain's ball started (not my fault I didn't threw that disc). The foreshadowing is very real!!

And errmahgod I heard from Huiwen that people in WKW were asking if I like WT because of what I did. Okay everyone needs to breathe and CALM DOWN. For a whole minute everyone had a panic attack and no one phoned for the ambulance to save his life so of course I had to??

Sigh, why aren't people calling me a hero instead :(